Modern Anniversary Gift Giving

The traditional concept of giving paper or cotton for a first or second anniversary is now a thing of the past. The anniversary gift etiquette has largely changed over time. People have more to spend and gifts define the personal style of the giver. But a gift is a token of love and can transcend traditions and etiquette, if it is truly thoughtful and from the heart.

The tradition of giving paper, cotton and leather on the first three anniversaries was appropriate in times that these materials were essential for running a household. In modern times, the gifts are more appropriate to the needs and desires of a modern household. For instance, the modern first anniversary gift is a clock, the second anniversary gift is china and the third anniversary gift is typically glass or crystal.

Rather than the traditional gifts of flowers or fruits, we mark fourth anniversaries with appliances. Fifth anniversaries are now marked with silverware rather than wood. Traditionally, a chair made of wood or even simply firewood was considered an appropriate gift. In modern times, wood figures or antiques are deemed appropriate as sixth anniversary gifts instead of the traditional iron or candy.

Desk sets mark our increasing focus on business as a gift for a seventh anniversary, replacing wool and copper. Linens and lace for the eighth speak to our increased sense of luxury, replacing the more utilitarian bronze or pottery. And leather makes its appearance at the ninth anniversary, replacing gifts made from willow.

Traditionally, luxury gifts like jewelry would appear on the list only on the 25th anniversary. In modern times, however, we mark the 10th anniversary with diamond jewelry. While the jewelry doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, it does signify that it is considered quite an accomplishment for a couple to stay together for ten years, given the increase in divorce rates.

Modern anniversary gifts continue in a vein of being more expensive than their traditional counterparts continuing on up. The 11th anniversary is marked by fashion jewelry, the twelfth by pearls (the 30th in tradition), 13th by textiles or furs, the 14th by gold jewelry, and the 15th by watches. Many people get matching "his" and "her" watches.

There is a skip to the 20th anniversary from the 15th as far as gift giving goes, and for the 20th it is platinum. But after that the modern anniversary gifts start to fall back in line a little bit with the more traditional, even though traditionally the 20th was a gift of china. For both 25th anniversaries, the gift is silver, but at the 30th there is some difference: modern is diamond and traditional is pearl. The last variance comes at the 35th. Modern gift giving is jade while traditional was coral.

For the rest of the anniversary gifts, the modern etiquette has remained in step with the traditional etiquette: ruby for the 40th, sapphire for the 45th, gold for the 50th, emerald for the 55th and diamond for the 60th.

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