Kids who Steal - What Can You Du About It?

Children steal for a variety reasons. Some steal for comfort, others to impress a group of friends, get back at their parents, or to get the things they want. Sometimes they steal just because it is exciting. Probably as many as one in four children have deliberately stolen something at some time. Most, of course, never do it again. But those who do, do so for one reason: it works. Whatever their core need: attention, money, or excitement, the stealing provides it for them.

Sometimes, the excitement generated by stealing is motivation enough. As many as one in four kids have stolen something - although most will never do it again.

Along with this, your main emphasis needs to be on promoting honesty. Use everyday events, such as stories from television or school, as a starting point for talking about honesty, integrity, and family morals.

Of course it's imperative that you set a good example. Turning in a lost wallet or giving back too much change when you receive it. Doing these things won't be lost on your children.

Keep an eye on your kids, watching for good behavior. Each time they perform an act of honesty, no matter how small, be sure to reward and praise them.

In the unfortunate event that you do catch them stealing something, don't overreact. Don't let them lie about it, but also don't reward their attention seeking with a display of temper.

Keep your eyes on your children. Catch them in the act of being good instead of focusing on when they are doing something wrong. Children respond to reward and praise for their little acts of honesty. This helps promote a culture of honesty in the home.

Give the stolen goods back to the owner, with the additional compensation and a heartfelt apology.

If your child stole something from a stranger, take it away and consider contacting the police. Also fine your child yourself.

In the event that he spent the money or sold the item to get money, require him to sell something of his own. You can even buy it from him but make sure that he knows the item is gone forever.

Arrange for some "community service" for the victim or, if unknown, for the family or neighbours.

Taking the stolen property back is his opportunity to do the right thing. If refuses, you then have no alternative but to impose an even higher penalty. The message must always be that doing the honest thing, even if it is after the event, is still the best policy.

Avoid a long grounding sentence. Jail does not reform hardened criminals, and grounding will probably not reform your own little angel.

Finally, once it is over, get over it. Get back into reward mode, look for the things your child is doing right, not wrong, and work hard at reinforcing honesty. It is the stealing that is the enemy, not your child.

Sometimes the temptation is to impose a long grounding sentence. Remember, jail does not reform hardened criminals, so expecting a different result with your own child is not realistic.

Dr. Noel Swanson, Consultant Child Psychiatrist and author of The GOOD CHILD Guide, specializes in children's behavioural difficulties and writes a free newsletter for parents. He can be contacted through his website: www.good-child-guide.com. This article is copyright. You are encouraged, however, to freely copy it provided this signature block is included without modification (other than the addition of your own affiliate link)

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Dr. Noel Swanson has a free newsletter that is packed with free advice: parenting newsletter If you are struggling with your children's behaviors in any way, you should definitely get his book The GOOD CHILD Guide: www.good-child-guide.com - it will help!
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